Handle with care [TTRPG bluebooking]
[chat_log_11_14_45]
Orion: "So how did it go?"
Phil: "Not as good as I had hoped. Something definitely landed, but he was not as receptive as he had been during our previous session. He admits that he needs help, which is a significant step forward. But he is very stubborn about accepting help."
Orion: "I had difficulties with this as well. Reasoning with him is exhausting."
Phil: "You tell me. And there's definitely some sort of psychosomatic issue going on. He is so convinced that he is worse than everyone else in his field, and he needs chips, cyberwear and what else to make him worth at least something. I told you from the very beginning that he has severe self-esteem problems. His negative body image and obsession with his physical appearance are a part of that. It's the last straw he clings to. Like, yes, I do not perform as good as other solos, but at least I don't need surgeries to look sexy; it's my hard work."
Orion: "Anything I can do as a partner?"
Phil: "Try to shift focus from how he looks to how he performs. If you compliment him, compliment him for the way he does things, not for his appearance. I will work my way through the negative affirmations he got from his father."
Orion: "Thank you for taking his case. I wouldn't trust him to anyone else."
Phil: "He is incredibly volatile. Even handling him with care may backfire in the most unexpected ways. I think of multiple options for how things may go wrong because we need to go through the majority of them until we get them right. You should start doing the same. People are not AIs; you can't program them to heal in the way you want them to. It's not a linear process. Never forget about it."
Not even a month has passed since the cyberarm installation, and according to Phil's reports, Minz handled it rather poorly. And now we are on it again. Bone lace, huh?
Orion sighed with frustration. It is the right thing to step away from being a therapist when it includes those close to you. He wouldn't be able to talk to Minz with a clear mind. His mind is already clouded by love. And even though he sees the reasons behind Minz's decisions, his stubbornness has become infuriating lately.
"Why on Earth would you need that?" Orion asked. "I understand your pursuit of the cardiac chip; it may be a life-saving thing. But this? I don't even mention that you may not get away with the next surgery as easily. You haven't fully recovered from the previous one!"
"Hey, there's no need to become that agitated! I am still on the fence about it." Even Minz was surprised by Orion's outburst, and his puzzled look made Orion regret his choice of tone and words. He should never lose control like that.
"You are right, sorry. I just… feel worried. I remember how hesitant you were before the arm installation, and now you want another major surgery? Muscle and bone lace is as tough on one's body as Sandevistan, if not tougher. The process itself takes a few weeks to complete. And think about recovery. What if something goes wrong? You may trade a small boon for a big disaster."
They stood at the rooftop, as they always did during some difficult conversations. Orion hasn't noticed how his knuckles turned white from holding onto the barrier with such determination, as if he wanted to break it. He's so stressed. He is so full of fear for Minz and his well-being. Minz still refuses to see how talented he actually is, and he always compares himself with someone at the top. With a very few people who came a much more complicated and long way and gained a lot more experience.
"Listen, I… of course, I am not there. I don't see what's happening. However, I trust Star's account of the events. She's damn honest about things. She can be brutally honest at times. And even though you are her friend, she will call you on your bullshit. And I have a few things to say to you. The crew—obviously well-armed and well-prepared—took you, a fellow solo, for a cyberpsycho. Do you even understand the implication here? Your combat skills, your pain tolerance, and your reflexes are as excellent as the ones of people who spend thousands on bells and whistles and strain their bodies and minds too much. To my knowledge, you do not have any combat boosts. And you dare to tell me and the others that you are a shitty combatant? You fucking scared seasoned mercenaries so much that they fled from the battlefield. Your chooms stayed unharmed. This is a job well done. Nobody asks more from you. It's just you who seeks perfection, while you already have more than the good half of other solos. Fucking hell, archery was your hobby! Show me a fucking solo who can pick up a hobby after years of not touching it and turn it into a darn effective elimination method right from the get-go. You are much better than you think of yourself, Minz. And there will always be someone better than you. Always. Same goes for me, Star, Echo, and literally everyone. But there are thousands of people who are much worse than we are. Believe me when I say this: I am sure someone even in the Afterlife is jealous of your skills and probably looks up to you. Let that sink in, okay?"
Minz stood, leaning on the barrier with his elbows. His head was hanging low, as if he didn't believe a single word Orion had said. Changing his perspective will be very difficult. But Orion had more words at his disposal. And he knew it was time to place them. Phil is not going to be happy, but sometimes Orion was eager to show that he gets better too.
One day he will be better than his mentor. It's a natural order of things.
"You have this ongoing battle with your father's voice in your head. He seems to be unbeatable. He called you a failure. But you overpowered him fifteen years ago. You are not a failure. He is. He was always weaker than you. So why do you allow someone weaker than you to dictate your self-worth?"
Minz's shoulders, tense at the first mention of his father, relaxed a bit after the last question. He was deep in thought, and this process is sacred. It shouldn't be interrupted. Words are like medicine; they need time and quiet to start working. Orion provided that by sticking another cigarette in his mouth.
He will never quit smoking. At least, this addiction may not kill him as fast as the other ones. Unless he starts smoking the shit Star smokes.
[chat_log_11_15_45]
Phil: "It was a good move, but very unnecessary. You should practice balanced empowerment. That's precisely the reason why you can't be his therapist, yet you are still trying to fit into this role. If you keep going on this path, you will lose Minz, your job, or everything altogether. Am I clear?"
Orion: "Is this a threat?"
Phil: "Consider it one. If you stick your nose into my treatment plan one more time and throw Minz off-balance, I will end your career. You asked me for help, but now you are disrespecting my time and effort by engaging in the most unethical and unprofessional behavior possible. Minz is better than he thinks he is. And you are not as good as you think you are. I rarely get that aggressive with you, but you know your place, boy. Your hubris spoils you rotten."