Let this moment lasts forever [TTRPG bluebooking]
"Are you okay?"
Minz took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. His body still felt a bit tense after the electrocution, but it was much better already. Although the discomfort didn't particularly bother him in the first place, it felt good to rid himself of it.
"I'm better, thanks. Star gave the first aid; your meds finished the job."
Orion nodded and leaned on the barrier. They stood at the rooftop of his apartment complex. In the evenings, the area was uncrowded, and today, they were the only ones present. This turned out to be a delightful coincidence. Privacy was highly appreciated. Now he only had to find enough courage to speak up.
He took out a cigarette but didn't start it. It never helps. He should just drop this habit; it only damages his health.
"I know it's probably not the perfect moment, but I wanted to talk." Orion said this while putting the cigarette back in the box.
"Every moment is the perfect one, because every moment could be our last one. Your job is no less dangerous than mine." Minz shrugged. "I can see that something is eating you."
This was the unfortunate truth. Orion often forgot that he puts his life at risk each time he gets into negotiations. He always dealt with armed individuals; he often got hurt. At some point he may be severely injured or even killed. And the same applies to Minz. Both of them were gambling their lives away. Fortune favors the bold, indeed. But everything comes to an end, one way or another.
Orion believed that this was a strong argument against relationships. Phil argued that this is precisely why Orion should permit himself to fall in love. Everyone in Night City is on borrowed time. Live your life to the fullest or die, regretting lost opportunities and feelings never experienced.
"So?"
The awkward pause was long enough. Orion sighed.
"I will try to get straight to the point, but bear with me. Words usually come easy to me, but not in this case. I want to see if we can set our relationship to something more than friendship and casual sex. And I wanted to ask if we are on the same page about it."
"In other words, you want to ask if I love you too?"
"Well, it's too early for such strong words…"
If you stop overcomplicating everything, I will tell you that I do. I don't need months to understand that. You are the first person I visited after the mission. Not my brother. Not my mentor. You. Honestly, I don't think I was giving you mixed signals all this time. Yet you are not confessing; you are asking if I want to be more than just a friend with benefits."
"I am sorry. I don't fully understand these emotions, as I have never experienced love. You already know about my chaotic sex life. I promised myself that I will never fuck with anyone more than once. Yet here we are. After I met you, I didn't want anything less than what you gave me."
"Orion, it's not about sex. Broaden your perspective a bit. What do you remember aside from our nights together? Take this question as seriously as you can."
The tables have turned. Now he had to answer if he was on the same page with Minz. And if he wasn't, then…
Minz's hand covered his.
"I am not pressuring you. I want to help. And I want to ensure that you do not confuse attachment with love. I will be there, no matter what your answer is."
No matter what his answer is? If it's too good to be true, then it probably is. He was repeating this mantra once and again, but it was always wrong with Minz. It was wrong when Minz gifted him a book and a dreamcatcher. It was wrong when they had a night out at La Lune Bleu, and Minz irritated Maurice a lot, but he felt his limits and left an impression of a very picky but also very sophisticated customer. It was wrong when they visited the theater and then spent hours discussing their favorite composers and operas. It was wrong when they worked together on venom milking and feeding tarantulas. It was wrong when they visited this shitty little fast food corner and Minz got food poisoning because he isn't used to greasy and processed food.
They made quite many memories together during that one month. Minz is correct in saying that their relationship wasn't about sex. Orion felt good just being around. Just experiencing things together. Having laughs and heart-to-heart talks. Supporting Minz when he felt down or something went out of hand for him. These little things made him attached more than he realized. These things made him fall in love, yet he was so focused on his usual modus operandi that he ignored these signs completely.
Now it felt like all the puzzle pieces were in place.
"…so now, I guess, I have to ban you from my clientele." With a guilty smile, Orion concluded the trip down memory lane.
"You want to say that sleeping with your client was ethical?" Minz asked teasingly.
"It wasn't about sex?"
Minz laughed as Orion poked him in the side. He was kind of right; it wasn't ethical. But back then Orion didn't think about them as something serious and lasting. However, the concept of "lasting" remained somewhat elusive. Each moment can be the last one, in the end.
"I can talk to Phil. He may take your case from there…"
"It can wait."
Minz stood in front of Orion, his arms holding onto the barrier, blocking escape routes. The playful glimpse in his eyes made his intentions quite obvious.
"Patient, you should have more rest and less physical activity." Orion put on his strict personality.
"You are not my doctor anymore. You said it yourself."
"I am not your psychiatrist. But I still can be your doctor. Star wouldn't be happy if I told her that you break the bed rest."
"I do not break it; I extend the invitation, you little backstabbing ass."
"I am still concerned about your heart rate and…"
He didn't have a chance to finish. Not that he wanted to as they went back to the apartment.
He just wishes that every "last moment" they have from now on will last forever.